A Tale of Amusing Cliché
Once upon a time there was a writer named, Chris, whose parents were killed by an evil overlord called, Writers Block. Running away to the save herself, she is taken in by a strange man called, Muse. With Muse as her teacher, she vows to avenge the deaths of her parents and destroy Writers Block once and for all.
The wind howled through the woods and early morning dew clung to Chris’ boots. Bright pinks and oranges fill the sky, filtering through the trees as they made their way to I-999. Beside her, Muse was singing a song, something about mice getting blinded by a farmer and cooked for supper when the clock struck one. The trill of his voice squawked cutting through the dawn like grating sandpaper. She could just make out the sound of traffic as the woods started to thin to the north.
“Shh, I think we’re close to the highway,” Chris said.
Muse fell silent, listening to the distant ‘whoosh’ of traffic.
The long three day walk had finally led them to I-999. Thank the mechanica God, Internet, for such an amazing invention like MapQuest.
Stepping through the last of the trees, Chris eyed the countless colorful carpets and compact rugs, a few brooms and even a puttering mop whizzed past without a glance. Squinting to the east, she could just make out Brainstorms Bar and Grill, on the other side of the interstate.
“How are we going to get across that?” Chris asked.
“Show ’em your boobs.”
Chris shot Muse a dark look. “I am not flashing a highway of strangers.”
“Why not?” Muse asked, peering at her chest. “Is there something wrong with them? You look like you have a fine rack to me. Do you have like a third nipple or something? If so, can I see?”
Chris shoved him aside. “Would you stop? I’m not showing you my rack. And no, I don’t have a third nipple.”
“Are you sure? Cause that would be so cool!”
Chris rolled her eyes and ignored him, turning her attention back to the interstate.
“Oh, Gods, you’re such a priss. Stand back.” Muse nudged her aside and went to the edge of the highway. Clearing his throat, he smirked over his shoulder at her. “Watch and learn.”
Muse pulled off his green coat and ripped open his shirt. Massive tufts of red-orange hair sprang out from under the shirt, glints of gold glittered under the hair. Chris shuddered and looked away, wondering if that image was permanently burned in her brain for life. Had his nipples been pierced? She cough trying to keep down her morning breakfast.
A few seconds later, a rug screeched to a stop on the shoulder beside them. A plump bug-eyes woman pulled over, she fluffed her blue hair and stared at Muse. “Hey cutie. Where you off to?”
“Just across the street, Beautiful. Can you give us a ride?” Muse said.
Chris bit her lip, and shot the woman a pleading glance.
The woman’s eyes were glued to Muse and she giggled. “Does that fuzz go all the way down?”
Chris felt her stomach twist, resisting the mental image that was trying to form in her brain. Seriously, there were some things you just never wanted to know.
“So?” Chris interrupted. “Can you give us a ride across the street?”
The woman looked at her with surprise, like she’d forgotten she existed. “Oh, I suppose. Climb in.” She flashed Muse a smile, and licked her bright pink lips. “You can sit up front with me. What’s your names?”
“I’m Chris, my friend up there is Muse. Pleased to meet you ma’am,” Chris said, putting out her hand.
The woman took her hand and grinned. Rings covered her plump fingers, flashing pretty colors as she shook hands. “I’m Ms. Distraction, a pleasure to meet you. You can call me Dizzy.” She turned to Muse as he climbed on the carpet beside her. “If you’re nice, you can call me, Diz. If you’re naughty, you can call me Mistress.”
Muse grinned at Dizzy. “I’m willing to play, Beautiful.”
Dizzy giggled, and threw the carpet in drive. “Sounds like fun to me.”
Chris cleared her throat. “Muse, we have to get to Brainstorm–.”
“Eh, later. We got plenty of time.”
“But we have a mission.”
“Oh, a mission, it sounds dangerous.” Dizzy giggled, whipping through traffic, leaving Brainstorms Bar and Grill far behind.
“Very dangerous,” Muse said with a grin.
Chris rolled her eyes. This was not a good way to start a quest.
* * *